![]() ![]() The state of mourning, whether I or another are involved, is certainly one of the chief situations where my lack of belief in an afterlife is driven home. My motto is 'two hands working accomplish more than a thousand clasped in prayer.' Chad, Canada, 32 "I'll pray for you" is often just a way of doing nothing but trying to sound like you are. Yes, because an arsenal of hopeful and optimistic phrases is just words, and words are cheap. But they know they can count on me to help out. They all know i'm an atheist so they don't expect prayers or participation in religious services, although I attend out of respect. I say that their loved one will live on in memories and the legacy that he/she left to this world. Sometimes, running errands or helping with arrangements. Usually it's cooking a meal or sending over baking. Even the non-religious cliches are church-related, like processional music, always played on an organ, or walking down the aisle. Weddings and funerals, because traditionally the ceremonies are so closely associated with church. My motto is: 'Two hands working accomplish more than a thousand clasped in prayer.' Caring and understanding is real, prayers are mindless blather are cheap. In our darkest moments we want to be held. I talk about love, and the person's life, about how it mattered and how it positively affected our lives. I think it is rude to shrug it off with some trite commitment to pray. If I knew them I say how they impacted me, if I don't know them I speak in terms of how they impacted my friend or loved one. I take the time to speak to the person and how they impacted our lives. I am always aware, never self conscious, of being an atheist. There are many things we can say or talk about, that have nothing to do with an afterlife and so forth. I'm here for you, even if you just need someone to listen." They know I really will help in anyway I can. If there is anything I can do to help, you need to let me know. I say: "I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this loss. Most situations as my atheism, skepticism, critical thinking, and humanitarianism lines all bleed together. They know I really will help in anyway I can. It is time to reach out to someone else, not formulate pat phrases that don't touch the loss. The moment of grief is not about the helper it is about the aggrieved. This is a time to put my attention on another person and do my best to intuit what is needed. It is not unusual for other people to be eclipsed in great grief or injury. I am not a star player in the situation, I am supporting cast if that. They are wrapped up in what has happened to them. ![]() People thanking god for medical interventions. Care enough to help them get back on their feet or stay out of it. You don't need formula phrases and sympathetic faces. Better to call round at the house or at least phone regularly for a time. It is what matters but being their suggests that they have to call upon your help. Taking time to talk rather than giving a simple pat phrase. How do you offer condolences to grieving friends and family?īy listening. I find death more incomprehensible than ever and find it strange to be alive. People offer condolences in a number of ways. Being aware that there is no afterlife means that death is a final thing. My lover and partner of 38 years died suddenly recently. In what situations are you especially aware of being an atheist? We wanted to know what atheists do or say when those close to them needed comfort. We opened up the question of how atheists comfort grieving friends to Guardian readers. Even though I wasn't armed with an arsenal of hopeful and optimistic phrases to make her feel better with, I realized that simply being a caring and understanding friend was more important. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |